pick and mix

I've had a really difficult weekend. I seem to spending a lot of my time in my bed at the moment. Some days I just can't get out of bed.... I'm behind in my classes and I think I'm going to fail my dissertation class.

In other news, I had another conversation with M, a guy who randomly talks to me online every so often in the most random way possible. It first started at thanksgiving, when he started talking me - turns out he was one of my team during Soul in the City. Since then, he talks to me periodically. He doesn't seem to be the most articulate person (although it's hard to tell on messenger) and has the unfortunate habit of calling me "babes" (ugh, how I hate that!) and scattering "x"s through his conversation. Still he's kind of sweet - until he keeps going on about asking me out for a drink when I get home..... hmmmmmm. This always comes right after I have been moaning about the boy, and how much I love him. M then goes off on this irritating flirting thing. I'm trying to make it clear I'm not interested, but it continues. Every time he talks to me I just wish I had the boy even more, and how much I miss him. On the other hand, it is flattering to have attention (even from someone I don't remember meeting), especially after so long in a relationship and the horrific breakup - I currently feel really unattractive. It's hard with M. because I don't want to lead him on. I don't feel anything for him, my heart right now is in the boy's hands, and leading anyone else on is just mean - to M. and me.

This is the kind of stuff I get from M.:

u know what i'd do if i were u. i think i'd look at all of the good points about being single, and there's loads. No one to tell you what you can or can't do, no one to make you feel guilty about doing what you'd like to do, if your out and a guy makes contact with you, you can take his number, you save loads of money at christmas, and I can take you out for a drink when you get home

The problem is that I don't want you M. I want the boy.