st valentine

So today I got a rose. It wasn't from the right person....

I don't particually feel any worse today. I just feel as badly as I did yesterday and as I will tomorrow. I sent a valentines type of present to him last week. The Velveteen Rabbit. I loved him so much that I loved all the fur off him. And he loved me and so I became real.... even if he does't recognise me anymore.

I got an email from the boy yesterday.

Hey Ro. Hope things are well - It's still trying to decide if it wants to snow or not here... So i got a parcel that i can only presume was from you (you being the only person i know in Santa Cruz), and thought i'd say thankyou. I kind of hope that this (along with one solitary facebook poke) is an indication that you would like to be friends, even if i am a bit of a wanker... Is there a reason you didn't reply to my last email? Because i'd really like to hear from you... What's the weather like in California this time of year? Well. cya around

Not quite what i was hoping for. In fact, it upset me a lot. But then something good happened. I got an email from a friend that ran something along the lines of this:

this Valentines day, when i see all the red hearts and hear about all that romance, I must remember that the first romancer of my soul truly is Jesus and that He is all i need. I know it can sound trite when you are sick of being alone, wishing you had someone and can’t stand seeing all those couples all over the place, but lets push past that and trust that God really is enough, single or not!! I am not the best at remembering this, but today, i will CHOOSE to believe God when he says "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end-- Because I am GOD, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you!” Isaiah 43:1b-4

Oh man. How i needed that.