one hot and sticky night in santa cruz

I haven't been here for a while. My mind has been elsewhere - far, far away. It's been a rough few weeks and I think I'm just about back, knowing more about myself. It makes me stronger but also weaker - I have seen my own human fragility.

Spring and summer have arrived hand in hand, and bringing with them a sense of time slipping away so fast and yet so very slowly. It is the time of year when I never really feel like eating anything apart from home grown lettuce and home made olive dressing with fresh basil on top. It is the time of year when I revel in the colours of the flowers and the smell of freshly cut grass. It is the time of year when my poor white skin ends up with interesting lines criss-crossing my back (tonight I sport a rather interesting pattern of co-centric semi-circles across my shoulders and chest - including the lines from the shell necklace I finished my outfit with today). And I breathe in the air which my face fruitlessly hopes is cooler than the bright sun light of today, and the strains of the guitar song float over me. I lie in bed with my Mac carefully balanced on my knee, while my other leg is thrown across the duvet that was discarded long ago.

And I wait for something to happen.